Life is Good!

It's like 50-degrees outside, darker and gloomier than any amount of MDMA could push back against, the rain could douse a person at its whim and none of the buses run on time. Today, statistically, life should suck.

But a man on the phone said I just got a job--a good job!--and now I feel like frolicking through alpine meadows carpeted in wildflowers, drinking Cristal and pushing over Julie Andrews. I'll dance around a campfire throughout the night and welcome the dawn with a blast from alpenhorn, then vomit into it.

--Matt